


Visiting Chris in Malibu

by glitteredsins, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Chris Hemsworth and Matt Czuchry [4]
Category: Actor RPF, Australian Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), The Resident (TV 2018) RPF, Thor (Movies) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-14 16:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17512220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitteredsins/pseuds/glitteredsins, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica
Summary: Chris has recently come out of a long-term (7 year) relationship with Henry Cavill. Before meeting Henry, Chris was so intensely focused on his career, he only fucked around at Citadel, only with staff, and when pressed, he told people he was too busy with work for a relationship. Occasionally he went out with a woman but he only did it for show and really never *dated* anyone. No one knew he was gay. Period. Not his family, not his friends, not his co-workers (unless they were members of Citadel and maybe not even then). During his relationship with Henry, they both came out at Citadel and Chris came out with his family. They bought a ranch and planned a life together, the only sticking point being kids. Chris wanted them, Henry didn't, and despite Chris's protests that he would rather have Henry, Henry ended things between them rather than risk Chris eventually resenting him. Their storyline ishere.These new stories take place roughly 7 months after Chris and Henry's split. Matt Czuchry is played AU as a very successful writer whose series has been optioned for film. He is not a Citadel member.





	Visiting Chris in Malibu

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Chris Hemsworth/Matt Czuchry storyline in the BDSM RPS RPG [Citadel](http://citadel.dreamwidth.org/read).

Chris is feeling more nervous than he has in a long time. Matt's coming to spend the weekend, Kate having taken Luca to visit her parents, and while Chris is usually very laid-back, known for it in fact, he's not very impetuous. And this, this has all the hallmarks of being incredibly impetuous. But it also feels right and he believes in karma and destiny and all that stuff people - including Henry - make fun of. It might not be love at first sight, but it's genuine like at first sight, and lust at first sight, and somehow, it seems like there has to be a reason they got to talking and Matt told him all about Luca when he's such a private guy. Why Chris - who really wants a family - and Matt - who has a family but not a partner - would be thrown together.

Having swept up the last of the sand and tidied every inch of his place, Chris checks that there's wine and beer chilling in the fridge as well as the makings for a couple of decent breakfasts. He puts out towels in the guest bathroom, makes sure the bulbs are still working in the bedside lamps - it's been so long since anyone stayed here with him - and generally putters about, trying not to glance at his watch every few seconds.

"What the hell am I doing?" Matt mutters under his breath as the cab pulls in to the address he'd given the driver. Butterflies seem to be having a party in his belly and it's not an entirely pleasant sensation. He hands over the cash to the driver and slides out, pulling his weekend holdall with him.

He'd spent the first few days after Chris had left pinching himself and trying to convince himself it wasn't just some hallucination, Chris's texts and phone calls had put paid to those concerns pretty soon. So here he is. About to spend a weekend, alone, with an incredibly hot guy. And there may well be sex on the agenda. _Fuck_

Wandering up to the front door, his bag slung over his shoulder, Matt takes in the house. It's understated considering where it is, not ostentatious, but classy, tasteful. With a deep breath he pushes the buzzer.

"Coming," Chris calls out, heading for the front of the house, the door pulled open and a wide easy smile flashed at the man on the other side. "C'mon in," he says, ushering Matt inside. Waiting until the door's locked to give him a kiss. "It's good to see you."

Board shorts and a black tee adorn Chris, and they fit in all the right places. The kiss is unexpected, but welcome and Matt drops his bag to slide one hand around the back of Chris's neck to better savour it. "You too," he murmurs smiling. "You're still real then?" he teases, referring to a conversation they'd had on the phone the evening after Chris had left his.

"I am," Chris assures him, grinning back. "And you look really good." Tamping down hard on the urge to just... yeah. Not going there. Not when he's trying to prove he can be patient.

"I'd look better with a beer in my hand," Matt winks, his teeth showing as he smiles.

"I bet you would," Chris says, moving away already, into the house. "You can leave your bag there for now, follow me." Leading Matt through to the kitchen. "What do you want? I've got dark lager, IPA or pilsner."

"IPA please," Matt replies, distracted by the view. When Chris had said he 'had a place on the beach' he hadn't been kidding. The back of the house stands directly over the sand, the ocean little more than a stone's throw away. "Wow." He moves to a window. "This is gorgeous."

"Thanks." Chris pulls two beers from the fridge and hands one to Matt. "Do you swim or surf?"

"I swim," Matt nods his thanks, "but I've not surfed." He pops the cap from the bottle and takes a drink. "You know I don't think I've spent a weekend away from home and Luca that wasn't for work since he was born."

"That's a long time," Chris says. "Anything you want to tick off? I can get you drunk, teach you how to surf or take you out for a night on the town." One thing very deliberately left on that list.

Matt laughs at that. "I think getting drunk might be fun." He's aware of the distance between them and he's unsure if he should make a move or not. "I'm not really up for a night in the town, it's been a very long time since I did that."

"Me neither," Chris says with a smile. "I prefer things quieter," mostly. "So... if I'm going to get you drunk, when do you have to call Luca to say goodnight?"

"About 6.30, so once that's done, I'm all yours." He takes another swig of beer. "But be gentle, I don't want to wake up tomorrow feeling like death and wasting our time together."

"I will, same here," Chris says, watching Matt's throat move as he drinks. "Do you want the tour?" he asks, gesturing towards the rest of the house with his bottle.

"That would be great," Matt smiles, though he's beginning to feel like there's a small elephant in the room.

Chris grins. "So this is the kitchen, dining room, deck," waving at the water, "living room," as he starts to walk, "there's a powder room by the front door, master and guest bedroom down this hall plus two more bathrooms. Mostly everything's on this floor," he says as Matt checks out the master bedroom and bath. "There's a gym downstairs, office, which is also another guestroom. We don't really need to see those."

"It's lovely, and not at all Hollywood," Matt teases, "I mean it's tasteful and not at all extravagant." He leans against the door frame of the bedroom. "Have you spent much time here?"

"Before I met Henry, yeah, a couple of years," Chris nods, moving a little closer, very aware of the difference in size between them. "I rented first then bought it when the owners wanted to sell."

"You didn't spend much time here when you were together?" Matt's not concerned if they did, if he had the chance he certainly would spend plenty of time here, it's beautiful and he can hear the sea from the doorway of the bedroom.

"Some," Chris nods again, taking a drink of his beer. "But he had his place too, and once we bought the ranch, we spent most of our time up there when we weren't working."

"Being by the water is something special though, right? That sound is soothing, primal almost," Matt muses as he turns to look out the windows. "I love my place, it's perfect for us. You're very lucky," he turns a smile on Chris.

"I love being by the water," Chris says. "It's where I feel most at home, centred, refreshed," he confesses, leaning in to kiss that smile.

It catches Matt by surprise, but he responds instantly, parting his lips and offering his mouth, he slides an arm around Chris's waist. And just like that the small elephant that had been worrying him for the last ten minutes or so disappears.

Chris deepens the kiss, tongue delving between Matt's lips, his free hand slid down Matt's side and around, cupping his ass and pulling him to him.

For the first time in longer than he can recall, Matt surrenders himself to another man; it feels so good to be held, to be wanted and desired. Matt's spent the last few years being everything but a man who craved intimacy and a sexual connection with a lover.

Chris breaks the kiss for a moment, smiling at Matt as he reaches to set his beer on the dresser and moves Matt's there as well. When he kisses him again, it's both hands on his ass, cupping his cheeks and pressing against him, mouth moving along Matt's jaw to his throat.

"Oh fuck," Matt breathes out the words as Chris's mouth lights up his skin, he grinds against that impressive body, letting Chris feel just what kind of effect he's having.

Still kissing Matt's throat, Chris starts to move them towards his bed, aching with the need to touch Matt more, have better access to all of him. "You feel so good," he murmurs, nipping lightly at Matt's skin.

Matt lets himself be led, distracted by the way his body is reacting to the kisses, caresses and hint of teeth. His own hands are anything but still, exploring the hard muscle of Chris's back, up and under the soft jersey of the tee he's wearing.

Chris sits on the edge of the bed, Matt pulled between his legs. "You want it off?" he asks, gesturing at his t-shirt.

Nodding, Matt has to reach down to adjust himself in his jeans, his cock is rock hard and he is so fucking turned on. "Yeah," his voice throaty with lust.

Chris pulls his t-shirt over his head, his shorts sitting low on his hips, tented by his erection. "Now you," he says, eyes hot on the man standing over him.

Matt's surprised at how steady his hands are when he pops the buttons on the light blue cotton shirt he's wearing, once they're all undone he shucks the fabric over his shoulders and lets it drop to the floor behind him. Whilst he's certainly not even close to being in the same league as Chris in regard to his muscle mass and tone, he's lean and sculpted enough not to feel inadequate.

"You're gorgeous," Chris breathes, running his hands up over Matt's chest before pulling him in close, mouth pressed to skin, one kiss after another laid along his waistband.

"Says you," Matt groans, his hands moving through the short dirty blonde crop of Chris's hair. "I'm so hard right now, it's been so long, Chris... too long."

"You're not going to last, are you?" Chris murmurs, using his teeth to tug open Matt's jeans.

That move almost undoes Matt, he shudders, well aware there's a large damp patch darkening the front of his jersey shorts. "Last for what?" he stutters out more and more certain as the seconds tick by that this is some erotic dream he's going to wake from.

"Last when I touch you, when I get my hands or my mouth on you," Chris says, looking up at Matt as he pushes his jeans down over his ass, shorts down over his hips, freeing his cock.

"Oh fuck..." Matt breathes out the words as he locks eyes with Chris. "You are fucking beautiful," he whispers. "So fucking beautiful." He slides one hand down to the back of Chris's neck and pulls him in, a hint of exactly what he wants him to do.

Smiling, Chris goes with the pull. Flicks his tongue out over the head, into the slit.

Matt's legs almost give out on him, and he tightens his hold on Chris as he hisses out a breath. "Tease."

"Maybe, but I promise I carry through," Chris says, wrapping one large hand around Matt's cock as he starts to lick at the crown like it's an ice cream cone, the best ice cream cone he's ever tasted, tongue swirling around the blunt head.

There's a warning shot of precum, and Matt feels a deep flush rise up his chest and throat as he finds himself hurtling to the precipice of his orgasm with startling speed.

Groaning as that spurt hits his tongue, Chris slides his hand down Matt's cock, taking him in, mouth hot and hungry, well aware of how close the other man is.

"I can't..." Matt starts to warn Chris, but his body is way ahead of him, moments later he's shuddering as he cums hard, deep inside Chris's mouth.

Chris swallows repeatedly, white seeping at the corners of his mouth, a hand swiped over his lips as he finally draws back with a smile.

Matt leans in, trying to use Chris's body to brace himself before he collapses in a heap. He's flushed, breathless and lost in a wash of long-forgotten sensations.

"Lie down with me," Chris says, not even waiting for a response before he shifts back onto the bed, stretching out, pulling Matt with him, in close against his chest.

Letting himself be manhandled, Matt snugs up tight against Chris, half undressed, utterly disheveled he relaxes, sure he's safe here.

"You okay?" Chris murmurs, checking in, hoping he hasn't rushed things, but it sure felt right to him.

"Better than," Matt murmurs a smile pressed to Chris's skin.

"Good." Chris smiles too, brushing his lips over Matt's forehead. "I enjoyed doing that." And indeed, he's still hard, proof put to his words.

Matt pushes up onto his elbow and looks down at Chris. "Is this you taking things slow? Because if it is? I'd better brace myself," he's teasing, and it's obvious.

"It was definitely me taking things slow," Chris says with a grin. "We made it to the bedroom."

Matt snorts out his amusement at that. He glances down the length of Chris's body, "How about we finish getting undressed? Because I have to confess, I've been spending an inordinate amount of time wondering what you look like butt naked."

"That's a great idea," Chris says, shifting slightly so he can slip his board shorts off, tossing them onto the floor. "And you can touch all you want. _If_ you want."

Matt kicks his own jeans and underwear down his legs letting them fall in a heap at the edge of the bed. Only then does he turn his full attention to Chris, Matt is certain he had never seen a body quite so perfect, sculpted, muscular, tanned. He lets his fingertips play over Chris's chest and belly as he hums his approval. "Are you sure you're interested in me?" he asks, without lifting his gaze to his new lover's. "You could have anyone."

"I don't know about that but why wouldn't I be interested in you?" Chris asks, his cock twitching with every brush of Matt's fingers. "Have you actually looked in a mirror? Plus, not only are you incredibly hot, you write these incredible books, my favourite books, and you have this smile..." He grins. "I really like your smile."

And that makes Matt grin, how can it not? "Seen as we're taking things really slow, perhaps we should be talking about whose dick goes where?" he asks as he drapes himself over Chris's chest. "You know, all the intimate preferences we have. Did you even think we might not be compatible?" he asks the questions lightly as he nuzzles a kiss to the tip of Chris's chin.

"Nope. I have pretty decent radar," Chris says, tamping down hard on his own arousal with Matt moving all over him like that. "It says you bottom at least some of the time if not exclusively. Whereas I exclusively top, which I think you already guessed. And if I'm wrong, well, we've both got hands and mouths."

"Are you saying that if I said I'm an exclusive top, you'd be happy for our sex life to consist of what we can do without sticking our dicks in each other?" Matt can't hide his surprise, he does, however, admit to himself he finds Chris's confidence and self-assurance on the subject incredibly sexy.

Now Chris wavers, although he's still grinning. "Mostly, yeah, but if we both were exclusive tops and both felt like we needed to stick our dicks in someone, maybe we'd either agree to bottom on very special occasions or we'd find some other way of dealing with that need, together."

Matt's brows climb even higher. "What, you mean find ourselves some cute young twink we can tag team?"

"I don't know. Maybe," Chris says, watching Matt closely, trying to read him. Taking the question seriously. "It would depend on what you wanted and what we both agreed on. Henry and I were monogamous and I don't believe in full-on open relationships but I think I could handle the two of us with someone else on a very limited basis."

Matt can't help but laugh, his forehead tipped to settle on Chris's chest. "You realise how you're talking about us? Like we're six months into a relationship? Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered, amused, but incredibly flattered."

Chris grins. "I'm talking that way because I'm taking this seriously. I don't want us trying to build a relationship and realizing six months in that we're so far apart in basic things that we'll never be able to meet."

"Okay, so basics... Music?" Matt is a little distracted at the very pleasant butterflies in his belly, but he continues, "Favorite movie? Or what about favorite holiday?" He's well aware they could go on for some time playing this game.

"Music? I'll dance to anything but I like singer/songwriters so Van Morrison, Jeff Buckley..." Chris says with a smile, fingers moving over Matt's skin. "Movie? Probably Mad Max or The Terminator. And holiday's easy. Christmas hands down." He drops a kiss on the top of Matt's head. "You?"

"I'll listen to most things, I like classical when I'm working, just as background noise, but nothing beats some rock for singing in the car, or the shower," Matt inches up a little, so he can press a kiss to the corner of Chris's mouth. "Christmas, especially since Luca was born and my favorite movie depends on the mood I'm in. Sometimes I adore a classic like a Hitchcock, other times I like a really in-depth thriller." Another kiss, then a light bite to the other man's bottom lip. "I switch by the way, with a slight top lean..."

Chris hisses in a beath at the bite, his cock jerking sharply. His arousal still _right there_. "And were you and Dylan monogamous?"

"Yes, well that's what we agreed, and that's what I was," Matt offers a light shrug. "Who knows? But yes, that's been my general preference."

"And what else do you prefer?" Chris asks, curious. "I know you've been celibate but what would I find in your porn stash?" he says with a smile.

"Nothing too out there," Matt admits. "I guess I've not wanted to torment myself with what I couldn't have. I like fucking, as a top and bottom, blow jobs, mutual masturbation, I like it rough sometimes and it's always hot when a lover sneaks up on you and pounces. What about you? What gets you hot?"

"Your list sounds good," Chris says, thinking hard about what he's going to say next, but if they _are_ building a relationships, the last thing he wants is for Matt to feel he lied to him. "I've been pretty kinky in the past and my browser history, if I didn't wipe it clean, would show that. It's not the end all and be all for me though."

"Pretty kinky?" Matt arches a brow at that. He also didn't miss the qualifier, which he's not entirely buying. "How kinky?"

"Really kinky," Chris admits. "Henry and I were in a D/s relationship. He was my boy."

"No shit!" Matt pushes up a little to look down into Chris's face. "You had seven years together like that?" He falls silent as he lets this information sink in.

Chris nods. "Yeah. Does that freak you out?"

Matt considers that before answering. "A little, but more in a 'wow that's some information to digest' than anything else. I'm curious for sure."

"You can ask me anything you want," Chris offers with a smile, incredibly relieved at Matt's reaction. "I just didn't want to keep it from you. Have you thinking I was hiding something down the road."

"I appreciate that," Matt shifts so he's leaning more on Chris, rather than draped over him. "I'm not ignorant of BDSM, I've read up on it, though I've never experienced it. I'm sure I'll have a hundred and one questions as we go along, but I don't need to ask them now."

"No, you don't," Chris's smile deepens into a grin. "I think you should kiss me again, maybe touch me some more..."

"Oh you do, do you?" Matt laughs, "You know what? I think you are right." And with that, he leans in to press his mouth to Chris's, kissing his new lover thoroughly. When he's done he starts to move down Chris's body, exploring with his mouth and hands, he presses his teeth into firm flesh, licks over each nipple. All the while humming his delight at what he can touch and taste.

It feels so good, like it's been forever since he was touched like this, and Chris groans his pleasure, his cock kicking up again, his arousal never having quite subsided.

Matt feels it's only fair that he reciprocates with a blow job, he nuzzles his way over Chris's belly, tracing each ab with his tongue, moving down until he's nosing in the crisp curls that circle the base of Chris's cock. Opening his mouth he licks his way up that thick shaft before sucking down on the head. The taste of precum washes over his tongue, a taste he's all but forgotten.

"Oh god, yeah," Chris breathes, sliding a hand into Matt's hair, nails resting against his scalp. "So good," he groans, watching Matt take him in.

Giving head, Matt discovers, is like riding a bike, he finds himself simply giving himself up to enjoying the sensual pleasure of losing himself in a truly exquisite male body. His hands stroke and knead, he sucks, swirls his tongue over the crown before swallowing down again, saliva slicking the hot, throbbing flesh.

Biting at his lower lip, Chris struggles to hold out, hold on, wanting to savour this, the wet heat of Matt's mouth, the skill of his hands and his tongue. "Close," he warns, blowing out a breath, fingers tightening lightly in Matt's hair.

Sucking just a little harder, demanding Chris gives him his pleasure, Matt makes lewd noises, letting Chris know how much he's enjoying this, how good it feels for him.

"Oh, god," Chris grits out, eyes heavy-lidded, still watching Matt, still drinking in every movement, every lick, every suck, every noise. "Fuck," he blurts out, not even trying to fight it anymore, his orgasm slamming through him, his release, hot and thick, flooding Matt's throat.

His mouth filled with both cock and semen, Matt chokes a little until he pulls back enough to swallow, Chris's cock popping free from between his lips. Licking a stray drop from the corner of his mouth he pushes himself back up until he's once more draped over Chris's torso. Once there he takes in the high points of colour on his new lovers cheeks, the hooded eyes of a man replete.

"You'd never guess you haven't done that in a couple of years," Chris says, smiling at Matt. "You have an incredible mouth," one finger tracing Matt's lower lip. "Gorgeous too."

That caress, so gentle and intimate makes goosebumps appear over Matt's skin, he smiles. "Thank you, but I think it was the quality of the cock on offer that made all the difference."

Chris laughs. "Does this mean you're going to sleep with me this weekend? Rather than using the guest room?" he asks hopefully.

"I'd really like that," Matt admits, "I've missed the simple physical intimacy of sharing a bed."

"I like the way you put things," Chris says with a smile, lifting his head to press a kiss to Matt's mouth, those gorgeous lips.

"Now, can I finish my beer?" Matt asks mischievously once the kissing is done.

Chris laughs. "Yes, yes you can. I promised to get you drunk and I always keep my promises."

///

Having quickly cleaned up from dinner, Chris brings two more beers out onto the deck, one handed over to Matt before he settles back in his chair, feet up on the oversized outdoor ottoman. "I never get tired of this view," he says, gesturing with his bottle towards the water and the sun setting over the horizon. He's feeling contented, happy in a way he hasn't felt for months, finally free of the underlying layer of sadness he thought he might never shake.

"I can appreciate that," Matt smiles, taking a swig from his beer. Dinner had been a pretty chill affair, Matt had pitched in and they had moved around the kitchen with ease.

He turns his gaze from the view to look at Chris, studying the other man for a few minutes. "What are you thinking?" he asks softly. "You're looking all thoughtful."

"I'm just happy," Chris says, taking a sip of his beer. "And it's been a while since I felt like this, _actually_ happy."

"I'm glad to hear that," Matt reaches out to take Chris's free hand in his own. "Am I to assume I'm part of that?"

"Very much so," Chris nods, giving Matt's hand a squeeze. "I'm generally a happy guy, my life's been very blessed and I love my work, but the break-up with Henry, it threw my whole world into question, and as you said, I was still grieving. Not massively, it's been months, but there was still just this... I don't know, film of sadness over things, and now suddenly, it's gone, and I feel like my normal self again. And that's definitely down to meeting you."

"Considering you'd been together seven years I think you're doing very well, it took me a good year to stop being so angry, to let it all go. Were you in need of an anchor do you think?" Matt asks, hugely flattered that Chris seems to think he's had such a profound effect on him.

"I think I was in need of seeing a future," Chris says, before quickly clarifying. "Again, I love my work, I couldn't ask for my career to be going better, but I thought I'd found my happily ever after and when it wasn't, starting all over again, at my age, still being in the closet, I couldn't see how I'd meet someone again, how I'd ever have a family... I'd been resigned to being alone before meeting Henry and I think I was trying to resign myself to it again. Which does not make you a rebound or anything like that. It means I feel like the universe heard what I wanted - a funny, smart, gorgeous man and a family - and decided to smile down on me. And now you can laugh at me for being all hippy dippy," he adds with a chuckle.

"How do you know I'm not a rebound?" Matt asks keeping his tone light. "I trust you think that but I guess I just need some reassurance," he rubs his thumb over the back of Chris's hand, "because I can't help shake the feeling that this is all some elaborate dream I'm going to wake up from. In no sane reality does a movie star walk into my life and just... make space for himself like you have. I've found myself behaving in ways I wouldn't have just six months ago, taking risks, exposing my family, who I've been so careful to protect, to a stranger."

"That right there is why I know it's not a rebound," Chris says, giving Matt's hand another squeeze. "Because I think you feel it too. My natural inclination, after losing Henry, was to shut things down and not meet anyone else, not open myself up to anyone else. But then you and I met and even though we were talking your writing and Joe and a role I wanted, I felt this connection with you, and when we started talking about family and Luca, it just got stronger and I had no doubt that we shared these core values." He takes a deep breath, exhaling softly, "I am scared to death on one level of opening up to you, of taking this chance, there's this small part in the back of my mind that just wants to run the other way because being this fucking honest with you means opening myself up to being hurt again, but everything else is telling me you're someone I could build a life with, and I know gay guys aren't supposed to say that, that we're supposed to be all about sex and playing things cool and taking our time, but you've got a child and a family and I need you to know how serious I am."

"Build a life together..." Matt muses. "We've both tried that, both been let down, in different ways for sure," turning in his seat so he's facing Chris a little more. "I hear what you're saying about being upfront and open, about cutting through the crap, however, I still need to be romanced, to feel it's me that you're courting, not the Czuchry package of a premade family."

"I know," Chris says, nodding. "That's part of me getting you down here alone. As I said before, if it was just a family I was looking for, I could easily find a woman willing to marry me and have a couple of kids and be my beard. You wouldn't believe how much that's still done in Hollywood." He makes sure he's got Matt's full attention when he says softly. "I want you."

Matt holds Chris's gaze and try as hard as he might, all he can see there is sincerity. "You're so sure? So soon?" he responds, his voice low, wanting to maintain the intimate bubble they seem to have constructed.

"Yeah, I am," Chris says, smiling. "I know it seems rushed to you - and it is - but I'd already fallen for you reading your books and your interviews, and then we met and I discovered you were even more amazing in person. And really, really hot to boot," he adds, smile deepening.

"I'm 40, I'm not a cute young twink anymore," Matt muses dryly, "I'm practically geriatric in gay years." He gives Chris a very obviously appreciative once-over. "You, however, need to be seen to be believed." All this while he's mentally trying to shove 'fallen for you' in a box and into a dark corner of his mind.

"Thanks." Chris laughs, a little heat in his cheeks. "Well, I'm thirty-five, so I'm getting up there too, and I've never been into twinks," he says. "And this," gesturing at himself, "I have my parents to thank for, and liking to get outside. The whole Thor thing, getting that bulked up? Gets harder and harder every time but I figure I'm moving towards the end of that." He gives Matt's hand another squeeze. "You said you needed to be romanced, and believe me, I will, but I also have to let you know I'd jump you in a heartbeat. I'm just behaving myself."

"You're behaving yourself and I'm incredibly worried that I'm going to be a shit lay. It's been so long, and I'm pretty much every shade of vanilla," Matt admits, giving his head a quick shake and looking away to hide his discomfort at the admission.

"Which I couldn't care less about," Chris points out. "I've only been with one guy for almost seven and a half years. Maybe I'm resting on my laurels," he says with a chuckle. "Either way, you give you an amazing blowjob. I very highly doubt you could be anything close to a shit lay."

Now it's Matt's turn to blush. "You say the sweetest things." His gaze back on Chris he ponders a thought for a moment before indulging in another fuck-it moment. "What would you say if I wanted to come over there and sit in your lap?"

Chris grins and crooks a finger at Matt, beckoning him to do just that.

Laughing Matt pushes up out of his seat and takes the half-step he needs before turning on the ball of his foot and perching on Chris's knee. "I guess there's some benefit to you being ridiculously tall and built."

Chris laughs. "That's my knee, not my lap," he points out, putting an arm around Matt and pulling him in close, stunned at just how good it feels to be able to do this.

"Dude, I wasn't going to just park my butt, I might've squashed a testicle or something!" Matt winds his arms around Chris's neck because he can and he grins at his boyfriend. "Is this weird?"

"This is amazing." Chris smiles, stupidly-blissed out happy. "I'm big on physical affection," he says. "Just because I'm not out doesn't mean I don't want to hold your hand when I can, hug you, kiss you, curl up with you."

"You're like some overgrown puppy," Matt accuses him, his fingers petting the hair at the nape of Chris's neck. "Does the difference in our height and size not bother you?"

"No. Why? Does it bother you?" Chris asks.

"Yeah, a little," Matt admits. "Ego I guess. I don't want you or anyone else to perceive me as passive, or submissive, my ex and I were of a similar build and I've never dated someone with such physicality before. I'm trying to work through this whole dissonance thing of 'holy hell he's so hot' versus being not entirely comfortable at the difference between us."

"I sure as hell don't see you as passive," Chris says. "And I don't think anyone else would see you as that unless I'm treating you that way and you're putting up with it. Submissive is a whole other thing but again, I don't see you that way, and I wouldn't treat you that way unless it was something we'd agreed on. I think you're hot and you've got an amazing body. But if how I look right now freaks you out, it's probably going to freak you out a lot more when I bulk up for Thor again."

"Fuck my life huh?" Matt rolls his eyes. "First World Problems 101, when your lover has the body not so much of a Greek god, but a Norse one." He nuzzles his mouth against Chris's. "I just need to get the hell over myself."

"Maybe, but I'm glad you told me," Chris says, kissing Matt softly. "I'll keep it in mind." Which is good, because if Matt hadn't said anything he never would have guessed the size difference was an issue.

Matt doesn't reply, instead, he returns and then deepens the kiss, licking into Chris's mouth.

Chris makes a soft sound of pleasure, letting Matt explore, their tongues sliding against each other. "You taste good," he murmurs.

"Shush," Matt rumbles back, biting at Chris's lower lip in admonishment, he slides one hand around the side of Chris's throat and presses his mouth harder, demanding more.

Chris grins against Matt's mouth but complies, licking and sucking, biting lightly at his lips, gauging his reaction at every step.

Matt slides his hand down Chris's front, reaching between them to cup and squeeze Chris's growing erection. "Mine," he growls, pulling away to mouth along his lover's jaw.

Hearing those words he's used himself so many times turned back on him throws Chris for a loop. But it's not a bad feeling and his cock only grows harder at that squeeze, at knowing Matt actually _wants_ him. "Yours," he returns, groaning at the feel of Matt's mouth on his skin.

"Yes," Matt agrees. "Now take me to your bed and let's break my vow of celibacy."

If they hadn't just had that talk about Matt worrying about seeming passive or submissive, Chris would stop and ask if he was sure. But they have and so he doesn't, choosing instead to take Matt's hand and pull him back inside, down the hall to his bedroom, back to where they were only hours before, his hands and mouth on his boyfriend, his soon-to-be lover, pulling at his clothes, intent on getting him naked.

As Chris pulls at his clothes, Matt does the same, until they are both naked, both aroused. "You better have lube," Matt drags the bedclothes back and climbs on, pulling Chris with him. "Lots of lube."

Chris chuckles. "I do," he promises in between kisses. "Do you ever do this when you jerk off? Use your fingers or anything else?" he asks, reaching for the nightstand drawer, a bottle of lube and a condom pulled from it, wanting to know exactly how long it's been since Matt had anything in his ass.

"No," Matt shakes his head as he reaches out to stroke Chris's cock with a firm stroke. "All the lube, Chris, use all the lube," he chuckles.

Chris laughs too, shaking his head in amusement, a soft groan spilling from his lips at the same time. He slicks his fingers liberally, reaching between Matt's thighs to touch them against his hole, rubbing lightly around it, his gaze locked on Matt's face, on his every reaction.

For a moment, Matt goes utterly still, that oh-so-intimate touch so alien after all this time. His mouth falls open and he makes a soft noise before he writhes, his body wanting more.

Chris slips one finger inside, the lube enough to make that fairly easy, the tight heat of Matt's body going straight to his cock.

"Nnnghh," Matt lifts his head and shoulders from the bed, his hands flat to the mattress as he stares into Chris's face, his body is lighting up with pleasure, a pleasure long missed.

"Let me know if you need me to stop," Chris says, taking the opportunity for another kiss, his finger moving in and out, working on loosening up the tight muscle, gently but firmly.

"If you stop I'll kill you," Matt returns gruffly.

Chris grins. "I'm not planning on it," he assures Matt, a second and then third finger when it feels like he's ready.

Sliding one free hand down his own torso, Matt cups his balls before wrapping his fingers around his cock and giving it a long, slow tug. "I'm so freaking thankful you blew me earlier," he admits, "Otherwise I don't think I'd last more than a few seconds once you get that dick in me."

Chris nods. "Me too. It's good we both took the edge off," he says, crooking his fingers just so to rub over that bundle of nerves inside.

Tipping his head back into the pillow, Matt offers up his throat as his breath stutters out, he reaches for Chris with both hands. "Enough."

Chris nods again, easing out and kneeling up as he reaches for the condom and lube. He rolls the rubber on and slicks it as well as he had his fingers.

Matt spreads his legs, drawing them back a little, readying himself for Chris to move in the good old fashioned missionary position. There's a certain element of apprehension in the emotional whirlwind he's currently experiencing, not least because Chris is entirely in proportion to the rest of him, and that is some cock. He watches as Chris preps himself, being generous with the lube, something that Matt can't help but smile at. "I think we're as ready as we're ever going to be," he points out, reaching out with one hand.

"You said use all the lube," Chris says with a grin, bracing himself, one hand above Matt's shoulders as he guides his cock with the other, rubbing the blunt head against Matt's hole before easing in and through that first ring of muscle.

Matt breathes out, bearing down as he concentrates on relaxing, making it as easy as possible for Chris to make space inside his body. He presses his fingers in the meat of his new lover's shoulders, anchoring himself as he stares up into beautiful blue eyes that are hazy with lust.

Matt's so hot and tight and the way he's looking at him... Chris's stomach flips and he dips down, sucking at Matt's lower lip for a moment. "You feel so good," he breathes as he pushes up again, moving deeper, slowly filling him.

Hooking one ankle over Chris's calf, Matt urges him on, his lower lips tingles from the attention Chris has given it, indeed his entire body is awash with erotic sensations that threaten to overwhelm him. "Sure you used enough lube?" The words have a vaguely strangled sound to them, even as Matt's smiling, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"I sure tried," Chris says, smiling back, a ragged groan spilling from him as he finally seats himself fully.

"Sure that's all of it?" Matt teases. "I think I can feel something tickling my left kidney," he reaches up to pull Chris in, pressing a kiss to his mouth. "You feel," he whispers, "fucking incredible..."

"So do you," Chris whispers back, unable to stop smiling. He kisses Matt again and slowly starts to move, gently rocking into Matt a few times before he draws back and tries a deeper thrust.

"Yeah! That!" Matt nods, licking away Chris's kisses from his lower lip. "Don't stop!"

Chris does it again, and again, each time pulling back more before sinking deep. Soon he's pulled back to the tip, almost all the way out, before he thrusts all the way in again, giving Matt his full length, his breath growing harsh. Pleasure thrumming through him.

It's so easy to just surrender to it all; to Chris, to the way he's being fucked, to the pleasure his body is drowning in. Sweat blooms over both their skin, slicking the way as Matt presses up to meet and match each thrust. His nails score the flesh that covers Chris's back, he mouths kisses when he gets the chance, his breathing more ragged, more stuttered the closer they both get to orgasm.

"Oh, god, close," Chris warns, suddenly right there, right on the edge, only sheer willpower holding him back.

Reaching between them, Matt wraps his hand around his own dick and starts to stroke himself, it's rough, uncoordinated, but it does the job; pushing him to fever pitch. Nodding, he manages to grit out "Now!" before he tips over, his body spasming as he spills semen over his own belly.

 _Yes._ Chris follows Matt over, coming with a shout that fills the room, his cock pulsing hot and thick, flooding the latex between them.

Dazed, Matt holds on, eyes closed, sucking in air as his body twitches with slowly diminishing aftershocks. He pulls Chris down to him, arms draped around the other man, only when Chris stops moving entirely does he turn his head to press a kiss to one sweaty temple.

That gets a soft rumble of pleasure, Chris pressing close, turning his head so he can kiss Matt more thoroughly. "You're amazing," he whispers, body still humming, every single nerve lit up.

"That was intense," Matt murmurs in reply. "There's no doubt in my mind I am no longer a monk."

"Good." Chris chuckles, brushing his lips across Matt's. "I'm glad you chose me."

"Did I?" Matt queries, his fingertips skipping along Chris's back.

"Are you saying I steamrolled you into this?" Chris asks, still smiling, easing out and moving to get rid of the condom before he stretches out beside Matt.

Wincing a little, Matt rolls over onto his side, his arm tucked under his head. "Obviously not. But from where I am? You chose me." He studies Chris's face, still flushed from their sex.

Shifting to face Matt, Chris nods. "Okay. Maybe I should have said I'm glad you chose me to break your vow of celibacy with," he says. "I know it's a big deal after so long, and I can't even imagine. Six months was enough for me."

"Yeah, it wasn't fun, but once I wanted to scratch that itch life was too complicated, and my days of one night stands or fucking in the back room of some club are a long way behind me," Matt reaches out to cup Chris's cheek. "I just didn't have the time or confidence to go and look for what I needed."

"And then I came along," Chris says softly, turning his face into Matt's palm.

"Yeah." The word is soft, with a hint of disbelief. "My head's still spinning," Matt admits.

Chris grins, reaching out to place a hand on Matt's hip, stroke over his flank. "While I'm hugely flattered, I'm still trying to figure out whether you're really not aware of just how hot you are."

Avoiding Chris's gaze Matt simply offers a half shrug. "It's not something I've given much thought to in so long. I keep in shape because it keeps me sane, I run, play tennis when I can, I've had no need, or indeed desire, to impress anyone."

"Well, just remember, this," Chris touches Matt's temple, "is what drew me first and _then_ I saw the package it was housed in."

He offers Chris a lopsided smile at that. "And what attracted me first was the package," Matt gives Chris a quick scan, his gaze lingering on Chris's softening cock before finishing with, "and this," he places his hand over Chris's heart, "is what has captured me."


End file.
